In an entry a few months ago, I wrote about how I would like to move from an attitude of jealousy to one of contentment and gratitude. So, half a year later, how am I doing? Not so well, if I am to be perfectly honest. I’m still jealous of other bloggers, or at least the financial ones who were all meeting this past week at FinCon.
But maybe I see a better way of thinking about it now.
(Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash)
“He’s got to follow his own path. No one can choose it for him.” -Princess Leia Organa
So why am I jealous of other bloggers now?
This past week* a whole bunch of bloggers in the FIRE community were in Washington for FinCon19. There have been all sorts of tweets flying around from people I know, at least in an online acquaintance sort of way, meeting up at FinCon. I’ve heard of all sorts of talks and sessions and whatever else.
Meanwhile, I sat at my work desk, with its lovely view of greenish gray building walls and bluish gray cubicles and almost no natural light in any direction whatsoever, and I stewed.
Is stewing a good look? Of course it isn’t. And yet, if I don’t check myself, there I am.
A good reason NOT to be jealous
It could be easy for me to look at all these bloggers who were traipsing around D.C. last week and think they were just showing off and bragging about the fact that they are at FinCon, while I was stuck at work. Really easy.
A possible representation of what I see in my mind when I read your we’re-having-fun-you’re-not tweets. Image courtesy Pixabay.
But I have made the decision that I’m not going to be jealous of them or of other successful bloggers…and I think I have a good reason or three not to be.
1. Due to my continued inability (as of this writing) to post on this page (as well as my other neglected blog, for that matter) on a regular basis, I’m rather on the periphery of the FIRE community. As is fitting for an INFP, I’m kinda okay with that for now.
2. We’re still battling the medical bills about which I wrote here. I’m not presently planning any trips to anywhere, let alone Washington.
And the third reason is that, while it’s easy to envy the life someone has, there are a lot of cases (possibly every case) in which I wouldn’t want to take the specific journey that person took.
Why I don’t envy Ruth Soukup
Okay, I know I’m name-dropping here when I mention the name Ruth Soukup**. (I’m also fairly sure she wouldn’t know me from Adam.) But in this case, it’s for a decent reason.
On the incredibly slim chance that the reader has never read a FIRE type blog in his or her life, I will explain that Ruth Soukup probably makes more in a year with her blog than I’ve made in the past decade in all ventures combined. On a good day, I might aspire to her success. (On a bad day, I’m way envious of that same success.)
But Ms. Soukup had a hard journey to get to where she is…a journey which I would not wish on anyone. If you read her story here, you will see that before she reached the point where she is now, she went through what could only be described as hell. So, while I can aspire to her success, I can’t bring myself to say I’m jealous of her life, knowing what she had to go through to get there. And I am reminded that my struggles in moving toward FIRE*** don’t really compare to her former ones.
So What?
So…I’m not attending I didn’t attend FinCon this year. Big deal. Others are ahead of me in their journeys toward FIRE…and that’s okay. We each have our own paths and our own paces, and I’m going to continue on mine, slow as it is.
And who knows? Maybe I’ll be in Long Beach for FinCon2020. Or maybe I won’t. But either way, I’ll be okay with it. And with those who do go.
* As seems to be my custom these days, thanks to some nasty writer’s block, I was not able to finish this post during FinCon.
** As far as I can tell, Ms. Soukup didn’t attend FinCon19 either. My tendencies toward envy aren’t necessarily limited to people who attended.
*** Or away from it.
Note: this post may contain affiliate links. And honestly, it probably does. View my affiliate link disclaimer here.