6 Times I Wish I’d Known about FIRE

I was well into my 40s before I learned anything about the concept of FIRE (or, as it is much more commonly called now, just FI).  While I am now aiming for FI (and moving very, very slowly in that direction), I am not nearly as far along as my millennial counterparts who dominate the financial Twittersphere.  FI simply wasn’t a concept that was discussed much when I was younger…and Twitter didn’t even exist back then.  Nevertheless, I can see several points in my life in which it would have been nice to hear about financial independence.  Let’s explore them together.

1. When I first started working

I’ve written before about my first job out of grad school.*  I was making, as one might expect, more money that I had ever made before.  And, since I was at a booming tech company, I was being told that I would be a millionaire within five years.  (Yes, people told me that.)

Of course, one of the draws of reaching financial independence is that one is not dependent on one company to survive.  As I found out (the hard way), when one is dependent on one’s employer, that company has one over a barrel.  And my employer had me over one, as I had a job that, I’d learn later, did not translate well to any other employer.

When my first employer laid me off in the fallout from the bursting of the tech bubble, I didn’t have anything close to financial independence.  I didn’t even have an emergency fund.

2.  When I had to work really late

I eventually found a new position in a somewhat different field, a field I’m still in to this day.  What I learned in the many years since then is that clients in this field really, really don’t like waiting for their stuff.  (Some clients I’ve had over the years apparently subscribe to the view that they are either my only client or just way more important than the other clients for whom I am preparing drawings at that moment.)

Occasionally,** I have had too many deadlines, and I’ve needed to work a late-nighter to finish everything.  (Most times, this would be the night before a vacation, but sometimes not.)  The idea that there was an alternative, and that I didn’t have to do this over and over for the rest of my adult life would have been useful.

(Aside: by this time, my wife and I had discovered some financial vehicles that we still use today.  There was also a very unnecessary variable universal life policy at that point, but the fact is that we did have some small amount that we had invested for future retirement.)

At least once, as I was driving home at 2:30 in the morning, I had reached my limit.  I was driving home at that moment (so at least it wasn’t an all-nighter), and I was literally yelling my frustrations to and at God.  I had realized that this was not the life I wanted for myself.  (Another aside: by and large, I no longer have to work late-nighters to get projects finished, so at least there’s that.)  I believe that, if someone had explained to me at that moment all about what eventually became the FIRE movement, I would have signed on in a heartbeat.

3. When I was stuck on a business trip

I’ll preface this by saying that I enjoy travel…when it’s with people I want to be around, going to places we want to go.  That didn’t happen in the trip I’m about to describe.

My boss (one of two I had at the time) and I had taken what was supposed to be a day trip to another state, along with our client.  The first part of the trip worked out fine; we gathered our information as we normally would, and we expected to fly out that afternoon.

What we learned was that there had been an incident at the airport, and the airport had therefore been shut down.  Even better, for whatever reason, after we had tried to return our rental car to the facility that was technically part of the airport, we were not allowed to leave.  We couldn’t go to the terminal; we couldn’t even leave to go get food.  No, we were held there for hours.

As I paced around the rental facility two hours later, I asked myself whether this was what I really wanted for my life.  I determined that no, it wasn’t.

4.  When I got no support from my boss

I will preface this portion of the post by saying that, at most of the companies for which I have worked, I have felt supported by my boss.  There was one firm, though, in which that was most definitely not the case.

I was working on a long project for which I had been given an unrealistic deadline, and I knew I was not going to be able to finish in time.

Typically, at whatever company was employing me at the time, I, or my boss, would call up the client and explain that, owing to circumstances, we needed more time to finish.  This would send the message that we want to take the time to make a good product.

So, what did my boss at the problem firm say when I explained that there was no way I could get it done in what as an unreasonable timeframe?  “It has to be done.”  No support, no going to bat for me.

Things only got worse from there.

5.  When my boss showed up at my house

The project I mentioned above went out when the client wanted it.  It wasn’t as good as I would have liked.  (As stated, to make it better would have required a few more days.)

Not surprisingly, the client wasn’t happy with it.  (Neither was I.)  As far as I can tell, the client (and my boss) would have preferred that I work 168 hours a week to meet his arbitrary deadline, but, amazingly, I made the conscious choice to eat, sleep (somewhat), and see my family for some small amount of time.  I will never apologize for putting my physical and mental health above my client’s impatience.

Anyway, given that the client cared nothing about anyone’s personal time, it should go without saying that of course he threw a tantrum the day after the project was delivered.  That was a Saturday.  He called my boss, who apparently cared just as little for his own personal time as he did for mine.  Not valuing my personal time, it is only natural that my boss invaded my weekend with angry texts about the project, followed by his showing up on my doorstep, project in hand, to demand that I make changes to it immediately.

This is not a motivator for me during the week, let alone on my doorstep on the weekend.  Photo by Lukas from Pexels.

I did not stay at that company much longer.  It wasn’t worth it to work for either a boss or a client that did not value me as a human being.  Unfortunately, I still did not know anything about the idea of FI at this point.

6.  When an ex-coworker pitied me

Occasionally, I have run into former coworkers at different events around town.  That’s all well and good, for the most part, except for one time.  I was talking to one of them about what I was doing now, and as I finished, I could see an obvious look of pity on her face.  Yes, I was working for a firm that was possibly less prestigious than the one we had shared at one point, but I did not need – and I really did not want – her pity for that.

It was close, at that point, to the time when I would hear about the idea financial independence.  Being pitied would have underscored, in my own mind, my need for it, had I known it was a possibility.

Wishing I had learned about FIRE sooner

If I had only heard of FIRE sooner.  (You know, if it was a thing sooner.)  Think of all the situations that would have felt different.  There probably would have been a lot less stress about some of these things, and a lot more peace.

My hope for you and me is that we find that peace for ourselves.  Soon would be nice.

* I might have said it would be nice to have heard about FI before grad school, but I wasn’t ready to hear it.
** Thankfully, not often.
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