Recently, I read something from someone I follow on Twitter (or X, or whatever we’re calling it this week) that bugged me. This person was, in effect, saying that they could not respect someone who didn’t make a certain thing a priority…which I don’t. In years past, reading this would have bothered me, as, in general, the person who said this was someone whose opinion I value.
This year, things are going to be different.
What Did This Person Say?
Let’s address the elephant in the room. Not only am I not going to repeat what was said, but it really isn’t all that important to this discussion. Suffice it to say that this person had set a bar for, I suppose, respectability (in their mind), and I did not measure up to it.
Again, it doesn’t really matter what it was.
How Might I Have Reacted Previously?
Knowing I didn’t meet the standards of someone whom I respect might have devastated me at some point in my history. (Or, at least, it might have slightly devastated me.) Without going into too much psychoanalysis of myself, I will admit that I grew up believing that my worth was based on my achievements.* And not achieving, as I have done, or not done, with this particular standard, would have meant damage to my self-worth.
Fun, opt-repeated fact: I suffer from depression. That does wonders for my self-worth. All bad.
(That may not have been a fun fact. Living it certainly isn’t.)
As my life went on, I moved to a point in which I would likely have gotten incredibly defensive about it. “What does this person know about me?” I might have said. “You know, I have a lot going on right now…stress, kids, health concerns, and especially depression. What right does this person have to come at me and say I don’t measure up?”
Seriously, I don’t care, or at least not as much as I once would have done. AI-generated photo.
How Will I Respond Now?
I’ll be honest: I haven’t suddenly become a saint. It isn’t as if I don’t still feel those same feelings (inferiority, defensiveness, etc.). After forty-something years, those don’t go away overnight. In fact, I felt pretty annoyed when I first saw what this person tweeted. (Or is it X’d?)
And then it hit me…
As I’ve been reminded many times over the past few years, and quite a bit from the FinTwit crowd, we all have our own paces for our respective journeys. Sure, it applies to my improving (finally) journey toward financial independence, but it also applies to my career trajectory, my Christian walk, etc.
You know, I may not have the same journey as someone from my church, or someone from my office, or even, say, Purple**, but I have my own path, and I intend to continue down it as best I can…and I am making a pledge to myself that I will stop caring what anyone on this earth who is not my wife (or myself) thinks of me for doing so!
Will I Succeed?
As I’ve said, I suffer from depression. I’m sure there will be a point during 2024 in which I feel a pang of anger, or bitterness, or just plain old jealousy as I look at where I am, and where others are. But, by and large, I intend to keep to this path.
Do you think I will do well in this endeavor? And even if you don’t, that’s okay, because…
* The author, at this point, could likely write a 10,000-word treatise on the subject…but he won’t. Especially not here.
** Purple reads this blog and, I’m fairly sure, knows full well that I have, on occasion, been a bit jealous of her journey.
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I do think you’ll do well with this endeavor and I respect that you don’t care what I think 🙂 . I love this new approach. Everyone’s life is different and I don’t think we can easily compare them from the outside. Great post 🙂 . Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Purple! When I can keep it up, it’s definitely more freeing.